LOUD INVESTIGATIONS SAFETY SEMINARS
Mandatory Knowledge for Voluntary Survival
Not sure how to respond to an ectoplasmic fogburst in your crawlspace? Want to teach your kids how to avoid arcane lures left behind by a failing spellform? You’re not alone — and that’s why Loud Investigations offers monthly Safety Seminars for the community.
Presented in-person (and occasionally simulcast to participating radio towers), these seminars are designed to give everyday homeowners, renters, tenants, and field interns the tools to recognize, contain, and survive the average magical anomaly in Plymouth City.
Already had a visit from us? You might want to brush up again — especially if you skipped our New Homeowner Orientation Packet.
Knowledge is the only true ward — and we’ve got handouts.
Upcoming Seminar Topics
- “Ward Before You Walk”: Practical sigils for common footpaths, hallways, and basements. Includes practice parchment and travel chalk.
- “What’s That Humming?”: Spotting latent relic activity before it becomes a rupture. Guest instructor: Greg Loud (if available).
- “The Five Stages of Possession”: How to identify when your roommate isn’t your roommate anymore. (Includes laminated flowchart.)
- “Baneful Symbols in Youth Media”: Recognizing summoning loops in children’s animation and collectible merchandise.
- “House Screaming and You”: Why your plumbing isn’t the problem, and how to respond to vocalized warning frequencies.
If you’ve already been briefed on Banditlock risk factors, consider attending a refresher after reading our updated warning: Banditlocks: An Urgent Containment Advisory.
Enrollment Options
- General Admission – $19.95
Includes 1 seminar entry, coffee voucher, and 10% off your next Sweep. - Family Pass – $49.95
Up to 4 household members, kids welcome. Protection stickers included. - Intern Rate – Free*
Must sign waiver and bring own pen. Loud Forum members receive seating priority.
*Loud Investigations is not responsible for spectral imprinting or psychic injury sustained during seminars. Safety gloves optional but encouraged.
Special Offer: Workplace Protection Workshops
Loud Investigations also provides customized Safety Seminars for businesses, daycares, industrial parks, and abandoned malls. These group sessions focus on:
- Counter-ritual planning
- Entity evacuation drills
- Basement glyph sweeps
- Restroom mirror warding protocols
Request a quote by calling 1-800-nolongerinuse(Option 6) or schedule a protection consultant today.
Where to Find Us
Most seminars are hosted at the Loud Investigations Headquarters (rear annex) or at the Plymouth City Armory Building B. For remote listeners, tune to Channel 27 on AM Arcana Band or join the Loud Forums for archived materials.
Stay alert. Stay informed. Stay inside the circle.
Notice: Safety Seminar content is approved by the Council of Divination and Safety. Loud Investigations reserves the right to remove any participant showing signs of pre-possession or malicious glyph exposure. Protective headwear will be available for purchase on-site.